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We don’t ask questions, clarify information, or assert boundaries – all things that should happen in an amber situation.Following my original post ‘knowing when to bail – red flags’, I’ve now delved a little further because so many people try to be the exception to the rule and have little or no boundaries.If you’re emotionally invested, or think you’re in a relationship, it’s code red.

Wants to move in after you’ve known them a wet week? Sleeping With Others – If you’re OK with being part of a casual ‘relationship’, this is code amber as you still need to proceed with caution and ensure your own emotional and physical safety.

They start out with small stuff and then bit by bit increase their level of input.

Jealousy and possessiveness is control, not love and especially when experienced early on or it increases bit by bit where you feel like you have to justify, explain yourself, and let them keep track of you.

Many of us also see the perfect opportunity to be an emotional airbag or to fix, heal, help – we end up on a pedestal.

Even when confronted with code amber behaviour, we don’t process the information, pause, access what it means to us and the relationship that we have in mind or our vision of the other person.

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