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After I got home from my walk I took a deep breath, peeled off my stretchy sweater boots, and curled up on the couch to meditate with a hot cup of tea (or vodka, I can't remember).Why was I suddenly over-focusing on something so seemingly trivial as the size of my calves?Now, in a city of 2.7 million people one would think there would be at least one other woman in sweater boots. Not so, as everywhere I looked I saw woman after woman (after woman) wearing beyond cute fur-topped knee-high snow boots, chunky-wedge over-the-knee thigh boots, knee-high pencil-thin shearling boots, and my all-time favorite, two-toned-upper-leather riding boots.On most days I really don't care about the size of my calves -- what kind of person would I be if I did?Religion was much more important to folks in the West and South than the Northeast.Vicki Lynn blow dried her long blond tresses and pulled them back into a ponytail. As soon as one perceived flaw is fixed (or hidden), up pops another one.So I think it's time that we stop this crazy habit of selective abstraction, over-exaggeration, and self-deprecation.
This was before I developed my "online dating/car shopping" comparison theory, where online dating can create a disincentive to settling down with one person, since there's always a newer, shinier model rolling onto the lot. Yet, despite my love of boots, I can rarely find a pair that fit me (with the exception of wide-calf, stretchy or ankle boots) because my calves are too big.In fact, I think we have it all wrong -- maybe, rather than judging ourselves according to some arbitrary list of idealized characteristics, we should start seeing self-acceptance as a pre-cursor to every good thing this world has to offer, including a healthy and loving relationship.Maybe before we can find the love we seek from others, we need to practice loving ourselves first, by no longer allowing our perceived flaws and differences to make us feel undesirable, plummeting us into that world of "other than," and instead see them as examples of our wonderful and treasured uniqueness.We live in a world of ISIS and Ebola, after all, and certainly I am not so superficial as to concern myself with the pettiness of not being able to squeeze my overly-muscular calves into a cute pair of Hunter rubber rain boots.Well, apparently I am because truth be told, regardless of the superficiality of it all, sometimes I am bothered that I can't wear normal boots, and for whatever reason, when I'm in dating mode, it bothers me .