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Because the truth is, the man at the train station found me lovely, he told me so when we met for coffee the next day.

Although it didn’t work out, it reminded me how much I’ve absorbed the harmful and false suggestion that “guys like that” only like a certain type, and “girls like me” aren’t it. As hard as it is for all of us to wrap our brains around, bombarded as we are with imagery telling us otherwise, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and beholders like all kinds of things.

Why would I presume to know that the hot guy at the station doesn’t fantasize about women of exactly my shape?

Why would I assume that, if he were in fact hitting on me, he was making some kind of body-compromise?

I noticed them while I waited for a leisurely float down the lazy river.

The dad, graying at the temples, was thin and fit and still boyishly handsome at 40-something.

So a few months ago, at rush hour in a downtown train station, this handsome guy starts chatting me up.

ALT: (This is an actual Health Freak bio I came across) "Please have REAL photos of yourself.

The images of beauty here, and sex, too, are so varied that I can’t help but feel my brain start to rewire.

Seeing row upon row of true variety, all through the lens of desirability, pushes me to expand beyond the very narrow, very specific wedge of humanity I’ve been taught is worthy.

I’ve never bought into the lie, popular with some elements of the media, that everything will be better when you’re thin.

The Animal Lover is perhaps the most confusing of all Tinder types.

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